Summer Flew Right by!

I'm back! I'm a little embarrassed to see that, before last night, my last blog post was actually in May (ew!).Well I'm back and ready to get back onto sharing the goings-on of life!

We had a blast of a summer. There are way too many highlights to write about individually....but I can give you a recap in Bullet/photo form!

- Celebrating the marriage of my BFF and her man...then sending them off to their new adventure in Oz

- Last minute trip to Cuba with Scuba and savouring time in the Ocean and on the beach.

- Connecting with new friends and reconnecting with old friends and having the courage to say goodbye to those who had reached the end of their journey with us.

- Dinner parties and yummy summer BBQs

- Learning that if I want to walk on water, I've got to step of the boat (Tuesday night ladies, I owe you so so so much)



- Everything T.O. (especially discovering even more foodie culture hotspots)

- Reading In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan (I'm contemplating food advocacy as a side job as a result. But cooking a whole lot more)

- Camping on the beach at Lake Erie

- All the moments in between...

On the Art of Letting Go

So here we are..well in October and life is good. Though I'm tossing back the max dosage of Oil of Oregano and chasing with Buckley's and trying to get rid of a cold that has illegally inhabited my sinues....things ARE good. I'm thinking that this cold is an indicator of the need to slow down a little.

A few days after Scuba and I landed from Cuba last month, I hostessed a ladies' night that I've filed in my memory bank as a truly memorable one. I mean, I'm sitting across from Mme SourceQueen, Mme VisionCity, and Mme CherryAppleArt - Each one a brilliantly accomplished femme in her own right.
We ate,talked, and sipped our way into the early morning - but copious amounts of inspiration and motivation butt-kicking that ensued made me think that the 'September Issue' themed night (wherein none of our 4 copies in my living room made their way into our convo) would be the theme of my current season in life. In a BIG way.It very aptly set the stage for where I am at now.

(If you don't know about the September Issue thing you can read more about it here.)

That night these fabulous chicks left me with a challenge to take intentional time to vision cast, pray and ask God what my Plan was...and get on it.

As a Project Manager, I have been trained to skillfully take someone else's vision, develop a project plan and then make it happen.(on time, within budget with a quality result). What got in me into project management was what I believed to be one of my most positive character traits was (and still is) to help others reach their goals and do whatever I can to see them get to where they want to be in life.

Unfortunately, the post-vacation month was one of our busiest ones and I lost myself in a lot of tasks , projects, board meetings, meet-ups, classes and family events.

On the way home from one of our (three) Thanksgiving dinners this past weekend, Scuba and I, keeping true to tradition, had an epic heart to heart in the car. We were talking about his having to make some tough short term decisions in order to benefit us in the long run (Merci mon ange). But we were mostly chatting about the prospective opportunities that would avail themselves to him in the next few years - too pumped! He pointed out how great it was that I was supporting him and I (of course) was trying to find ways to tangibly help.

The conversation then turned to my dreams and goals....and...are you ready for it?!...I don't have any! Well I do have little ones here and there but nothing concrete that I am working towards! YIKES!! It was a sobering moment.

Even more sobering...An hour more into the conversation, the realization set in that the main reason why I hadn't made any plans/goals was because I have been holding onto past failures and in turn disqualified myself from moving forward. At various points in the last decade,I allowed myself to carry guilt with me after every mistake I've made along the way. The culmination of all this was me deciding that I had totally missed the boat headed to my destiny and believed that there wasn't much else left for me to do but help other people not miss out on theirs.

Scuba quickly called me to action: Let go. Stop living in my past. Make some plans and get on it!

A wise Jewish King once said ''Without a vision, the people perish'' or something close to it. I know that I've stretched the interpretation a tad - But I get it. Without a destination, a map is just a big colourful page (or app!) with a lot of information on it. The same thing goes for a life that is filled with a lot of ''good things'' that doesn't produce a quality result.

Right now,I'm feeling as though I'm looking at a map with no indication of a destination. Granted I am uber-busy and super-committed to several things... I've been maintaining the status quo. In my books, stagnation/status quo is quite close to perishing. I'm not having that.

A little daunting, but it is high time that I start living again and looking forward to getting things done for me. The way I see it, if I'm working towards something then I will be all the more qualified to help other people get to where they're going. Right?!

So the Fall is bringing out some really neat changes in nature, right in step with me making some pretty cool changes in my life too.

I'm really looking forward to what the next few weeks will bring in terms of taking time to figure things out, cast a vision and pursue it - letting go and being free from the guilt of the past. I'm a Lady with a Future!


Stay tuned...I have a feeling that this is going to be a pretty swell Fall!




Thats All (for now).

M

* This was a SUPER hard post to write, but there aren't many of you who actually read my stuff. But thanks for reading and for making it okay for me to be real. Bless you.

Happily Ever....RIGHT NOW!

You'd think by the title of my blog post that I was going to imply that age old phrase: ''..and they lived happily ever after...'' In North America, these 6 words mean that a reader can rest assured that the hero or heroine in the fairy-tale that they've just finished reading overcame a risky challenge and won the heard of their ''one-true-love'' and that, my dear friend is where mismanaged expectations that lead to extremely selfish behaviours and thus begins the spiral of disappointment.


Whatever happened to being happy, healthy and whole RIGHT NOW?! Why does it seem, for some, that savouring their current life is unfathomable and that wholeness will only be achieved when they have a better job/have a baby/have a spouse/have a house/retire/have a degree/have their first million....and the list goes on.

We get caught up in the ''what should be'' or questioning and pining for the next ''thing'' to happen in our lives that we miss out on RIGHT NOW - Who we are, how we've grown, the blood+sweat+tears that got us to where we are, who we have on our 'team' and the fact that we've been blessed beyond what we actually deserve.

At the risk or sounding like ''that girl'' who ties her real life to fiction, I had another ''big girl'' moment at the movies tonight. I went to see Sex and the City 2 (insert judgment here) and what loaded movie it was! So much great messaging - too many for this post!This time, I totally dug what Carrie and ladies had to say.

I'm certainly not one to spoil movies, but this time around Carrie, a strong independent diva gets a lesson on leaving the past behind and realizes that there is peace and power in embracing her current stage of life.

Don't get me wrong. I heart my life right now. I heart my husband and loving the adventure. But I must disclose that at the beginning of the transition into marriage, my inner 'independent diva' seemed to be in conflict with the 'interdependent partner' role that I had misunterstood 'blissfully married wifey' role. A few counselling sessions later...all is well. But there is nothing like a good ol' SATC to drive that life lesson home.

I learned...scratch that, I'm learning that there is wholeness to be savoured by understanding that I'm definitely less-than-perfect (super sensitive and at times, impatient. *gasp*) and by embracing experiences in less-than- perfect situations (work, home, commute, relations) with less-than-perfect people (hubby, family, friends, coworkers, slow walkers).

Thank you Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. Imaginary women who, tonight, reminded me that happily ever after, is actually happily ever RIGHT NOW means that what happens now (as well as enroute to goals and dreams) can be savoured and enjoyed (especially with crazy girlfriends in designer couture).

Experiencing this legendary movie at a theatre in the part of the city where I spent most of my adult single lady life (affectionately called 'Yonge and Eligible') ...cost me 12.99

Dinner before hand...cost me $20.57

Popcorn + Drink...$11.57

Coming home to the man of my dreams and our less than perfect life adventure....priceless.


I dare you to live happily ever RIGHT NOW. Use what you've got, use your fine china, wear your pearls, appreciate your (imperfect) friends, love your (imperfect) family, see the benefits of your current (imperfect) job/course.

Share who you are right now with the world.

That is what is sexy in this city (if you ask me!)

That's all!

M

Dreams to Reality with Three Simple Letters?!

Bonjour!

My hubby and I are making super-mega exciting (yet totally confidential) changes to our lifestyle and overall life plan and we're totally pumped about this leg of our life's journey.

One of the first things I realized was how many people love to dream and have such creative ideas, and they hope and pray that one day they'll win the lottery or get a "big break" in order to make see these goals and dreams materialize.

Did someone ever say to you, at some point in your life, that your dreams or goals were "crazy" or remind you about life in the "real world" to try to convince you that you still have to life in reality?
But who made them the judge of what can and cannot be done. Could they just be bitter that they never put in the time or effort to doing something about their dreams or goals?

You see, I firmly believe that your passion is directly linked to your God-given purpose, this side of Heaven. Our talents and gifts are all fine and good but I'm talking about your passion. That one thing that can light up your face when you talk about it in a conversation, the thing that you get excited to do and wish that you could do if money or time weren't an issue.

This passion, is what drives, inspires and what keeps us hoping. What is your passion? What do you dream about? Do you dream about music? Do you have a goal of starting a business that offers a unique service to your community? Do you have art to share with the world?
What drives you?

Some people look over their list and ask themselves:

Can I travel the world in a year?
Can I be a photographer?
Can I quit my job and start a business?
Can I make it as a professional basket weaver?
Can I be that lucky lady who gets to try out spas all over the world?!

I am daring to say that three letters that can make it all happen; H-O-W.

If we go back and read our questions again, we'll see something different. Turning lofty dreams into real action - take a look:

How can I travel the world in a year?
How can I be a photographer?
How can I quit my job and start a business?
How can I 'make it' as a professional basket weaver?
How can I be that lucky lady who gets to try out spas all over the world?!

Each of these are now all answerable questions that will make you think and brainstorm and strategize your way to drawing up a plan. This plan could very well be the start of a whole new future.

With the right tools and the right people on your team who I asked you to identify here, you will be well on your way to making your dreams and goals reality.

Try the following, it won't cost you anything, but worth a try!

1- Write it! Put your passion on a piece of paper and to an old school brainstorm (get it all out on paper!)
2- Focus it! Narrow it down to something you can actively work towards
3- Make a list! staring backwards from the GOAL point to NOW(today) list all the things that you need to do or what needs to happen.
4. Publish it! > This is your plan.
5. Tell someone! Find allies...we need each other in order to achieve success. We are resources for one another
6. Work it! Work your plan!

My (heavily biased opinion) personally think that having a someone work through it with you, to keep you steady on the course. Especially for those moments of fear. Fear of success and fear of failure are both things that can debilitate us. These are mainly lies that we've chosen to accept as reality and operate negatively and unnecessarily. It is the same as putting a cast on a limb that isn't at all broken and walking around with crutches. Fear is a dream-killer. Don't let it get to yours. Ever.

My passion?! NO questions asked, hands down; it is Life/Executive Coaching.

Plain and simply put, my passion is seeing other people take steps into their destiny and actively helping them reach their goals and dreams.

So... when I put Coaching on my list of things I want to do in the next 12 months, my husband immediately responded with: "How can we make it happen?!" Within the next few weeks I put together a plan and have already found an educational training program as well a Master Coach under which I can apprentice!!!


(September Issue Update: We've re-overhauled our eating and we're all about portioning!
My hubby has said that if I can show that I can consistently use the gym in our condo...then I can bring Jam back into my life!!! She's my old trainer, and I love her. To bits. I've gotta get on the workout train.)

So that is my truth for now...

Let me know your thoughts!

Have a WINNING day!

My September Issue'

Little did I know that the Friday before last would be one of those life-changing days....At the risk of sounding dramatic. It really was.

From the time I found out about the 'boys-only-no-wives-allowed' Japan leg of the Manafest Tour, I had planned to cash in the lieu hours in my overtime pot (of goodness! I heart the union sometimes!).

It naturally was a convenient day of the week to take off so that I could prep and primp prior to my hubby coming home from his rockstar trip (wherein he met Lady Gaga...but that is a convo for another day).

I had been up until the wee hours of the morning trying to sort out the flights that the boys were scheduled to take and made double sure of the time I had to be at the terminal to pick up my Love. I triple checked to make sure that the volcanic activity wouldn't be an issue...I was ready and set.

...please allow me to rewind a bit to get some context before moving forward....

December 31st 2009, at a NYE bash in Greenwoodville I was introduced to Cherryappleart . It was one of those moments where you meet someone and have that feeling that they were destined to be in your life. She is, as Walt Whitman puts it, "So much sunshine to the square inch!"

We chatted and chatted about being rockstar wives and mused about the copious amounts of guitar and amp gear that we have to manage in our homes (even though we love it and love that our boys have got talent!) and we both share the grab-life-by-the-balls-and-take-no-prisoners kind of mentality. Alicia Key's would call her a Superwoman too!
She's manages a home, 2 small (beautiful) children and runs a fashion accessories business - I'm pretty sure she's on her way to becoming a top style editor at Vogue as well...

After we had rung in 2010, we made sure that we would get together in the near future. But actually do it and not just say "We should really get together sometime" <- One of my pet peeves!

.....fast forward back to the original story....

So I managed to arrange a visit to my new friend's place between my hair cut (over 2 inches!) and the hubby's airport pick-up.

On our way out the door to lunch, we got a call from Mme Vision City on her way to work saying that her hubby, was stuck in Japan for one more day, his flight (which we were under the impression was a different one) wasn't able to get out of Tokyo. She asked whether my husband was stuck - I promptly responded that I had double checked and they had taken off according to the airline's website.

We grabbed Cherryappleart's Prince and Princess and headed to a local eatery and had burgers and fresh cut fries and Dino buddies for the little ones... half-way through lunch, the news came via email to my BBerry...."Hey Babe, ........I want you to know that everything's okay, but the plane had engine problems and we're staying an extra night......".

I tried not to be too crushed, and besides I was in great company!

Cherryappleart , being the sweetest that she is, saw the glass as half-full and made me extend my stay seeing as there was no made rush to get to the airport. I had until the next day!

I quickly made some phone calls to family and to the drummer's wife - who hadn't taken the news well - then relaxed for a few more hours and some tea. The day was unfolding beautifully and her rockstar had even whizzed home from work and was out to a night time gig in under 20 mins.

Then it happened....

Over stuffed chicken, brownies, lattes, and vino, we had an impromptu ladies' night that topped all ladies' nights. We decided to rent the movie "The September Issue"...it was great because it complements my favorite movie, "The Devil Wears Prada". It is a riveting documentary about the months and countless hours that go into the publishing of the September 2008 issue of Vogue magazine.

Sounds pretty straightforward no!? Little did I know it would be so revolutionary for me.

What got me was a line that one of stylists/editors said in response to why the September isssue is the biggest (most expensive) mag of the year. She said, and I paraphrase "...this is the time of year where one can re-invent oneself and start over new..." Hmmmm...Sounds a lot like where I was at in my head and in my life.

I've just gone through a major life transition into marriage, 3 hospitalizations in the last few months, lots of changes at work and successful psychotherapy treatment (aka one of the best decisions I've made yet), finally deciding what I want to "do when I grow up"and making a bunch of quality decisions about my life.

I know that us, watching that particular movie, on that particular night, was NOT at all coincidental.

The September Issue was the catalyst for me realizing that I am living my own real-life September Issue moment. This is the season of my life where I am now presenting the new "me" to the world.

I believe that fashion is an art form and that it should reflect what is on the inside of me. I mean, the packaging/ wrapping of a gift or product is indicative of its content, right?!

I firmly believe that more time should be spent on who you are rather than what you look like.

Believe me when I say that over the last 2 months things have changed drastically for me and up until a few weeks ago I didn't look the way I felt on the inside....I'm just over 25 pounds heavier than I've ever been in my life and my "new/larger size wardrobe" and that is a result of a combination of stress, happiness and side-effects to medication...also, irresponsible and unloving towards myself.

The best part of ladies' night, on top of the fact that there were other ladies who joined us, was that during the movie, as I was (mentally)readying myself for my "re-launch", Cherryappleart was busily making me a custom brooch, that she designed based on our conversation. I think she knew what I needed to get my September issue on!

I was telling hubby last night that we're now safely and happily on our 'married way', I've worked on stablizing my health, decided on my educational path, dealt with some skeletons in the closet at therapy and the next thing is my process of un-veiling the new me.

This is my next step....my next mountain...Just now wondering how I'm going to pull this one off!

I've joined a fitness challenge group that creates accountability for working out at least 3 times a week (or else you've got to pay) and, at home, we're well on our way to making the gluten-free & organic eating transition.

My new co-worker moonlights as an IT specialist for some company where they give her (FREE) fashion, home and lifestyle mags so I'm stocked up as of this week. I also splurged after getting a head's up from Mme VisionCity that Vogue is featuring "Classic Chic" style this month! I mean it isn't "Classic GLAM" but its a start ;o)

So that's me. Stay tuned!

As Meryl Streep as Anna Wintour would say "That's all"

M,

Me, Myself and I > Really?!

It isn't a secret - I LOVE people. A whole lot.

I love seeing people let love into their lives and getting to the " next level of the art of living". Hence why I am in the process of becoming a certified life/executive coach very soon!

I am firmly convinced that when people are connected, they are the at their strongest and more apt to succeed. It takes a lot though - The most important piece would be self-sacrifice and trust.

It almost seems counter-intuitive, you know, to let go of our selfish ambition and allowed others to help us achieve our goals, encourage and share life with us...but in order to create sustainable success, the legendary kind, the people on your team are vital.

What I'm really saying is : Check your ego at the door - We need each other to make it to where we want to go.

A wise woman who recently went on a life-changing trip to Nepal, learned from a 30+ day (unglamourous and at times very trying) trek through the mountains with a team of individuals, how successful they became once they decided to become interdependent.
Their team alliance was "Be happy for others first". Can you imagine the power in that?

Hiking through the Himalayas isn't an easy feat. She told me that everyone had a bad day(sick day, injured day, fatigued day..etc) here and there but as a team they agreed to sacrifice their emotional responses to the crap they faced and made a quality decision to be happy for the others first then think of themselves.

This wise woman also told me that some days, that is self-sacrificing happiness for others was her strength that propelled her through the hours of hiking when it was her turn to have a "no good, very bad day". That is the power that human connection.

Social Media, I believe, is popular because it connects and re-connects people and is a means for us to let others in - in a non-committal way. They can peruse our Facebook pages and read our Tweets and feel as though they are "in the know".
I can't help but smile whenever I hear the phrase "I was Facebook-creeping and I saw that....". Some are genuinely curious and interested in being aware of what is going on in your life! Well....rather..what you choose to share and market yourself (but that's a different topic for another day).

In the past year and a half I've undergone a significant change in friendships and have realized that not everyone who is in your life isn't necessarily "on your team". I was recently 'dropped' from a ' friendship circle' that I had valued a great deal and that, for me, was the catalyst for change.

I realized that for many years I had invested vulnerability, openness and trust to people who weren't doing the same for me.

A few weeks ago I learned that in any partnership/connection (whether professional or personal) there are three entities. There is me, the other person and our relationship forms the third part. This third part is what you need to be aware of. You need to, nurture, respect, fix and honour that part.

My sister calls it the Love Bank from which you deposit and withdraw others call it the Love tank that you can gauge to be full or empty - whatever you name it- be aware that it makes or breaks a relationship.

I got it that day....putting others' needs ahead of my own fuels them to get to achieve their goals and vice versa.

A wise man said the other day to me " What if everyone showed up....ready to meet other people' s needs?" he leaned in and whispered : "Guess what?! That means someone would have my back for me" (Sorry PMo...I paraphrased).

I thought about that one long and hard.

In the movie Akeelah and the Bee , a little girl achieves her dream of winning a national spelling bee competition. Towards the end of the movie as she prepares for the climatic event she realizes that her success up to that point in her journey rested on the support from the 50 000 coaches that she had. Her coaching team, that included her mother, family, friends and community members invested their time, energy, love and hope in her and prepared her to take a daring and bold chance at the spelling bee.

50 000 coaches. The number sounds outrageous...but I get it. There are so many people past and present who have self-sacrificed


Who is on your team of 50 000 coaches? I challenge to you today to three things:

1. Stop, think and thank God for the people in your life who have contributed (and are contributing) to who you are today.

2. Look around and see who is actually spending their time (aka their most valuable asset) with you or for you. It may be an occasional text, call, Skype chat, email, IM/BBM - though it may not be what you want it to be or your love language - individual contact, these days, counts a LOT.

3. Acknowledge and thank those who are in your life and " on your team" - In whichever way you can. Just let them know, that you know and want them to know that they are on your team and that you appreciate them! Maybe a text, an e-card, an actual telephone conversation - just do it.

Have a WINNING day and make the most of your time - it is your most valuable asset!

Bienvenue, welcome, bienvenido!

The launch of The art de vivre at long last! I know that I'm way past the March 1st deadline given to me... but better late than never.

Though the direction of my blog-writing isn't clear cut , I know that things will take shape as I go... I certainly do not want to be "another blogger". I may talk about my photography apprenticeship, my love for all things culinary, learning to be a wife, learning to be a better sister, friend, daughter, daughter-in-law, life at work (maybe), learning a new skill or whatever is on my mind. Usually something spicy...

What I am sure of, is that I want to talk about life and the art of living it. Making the most of what you have, especially the unexpected twists and turns we encounter and leave us in a place we never thought we'd be in.

I assure you that this goes much farther beyond stopping and "smelling the roses" and "counting our blessings"/" being content with what you have". In some ways that implies that we're simply victims of life and that everything is by chance and we're just breathing dust left on this planet to fend for ourselves. I am diametrically opposed to that point of view.

A wise woman said to me lately: " A smart [leader] creates from everything"....I think that it is nothing short of genius. This statement, as of a few weeks ago became my personal vision statement...it other words, use what you've got to make the most of what you've been given for your current season of life. Therefore, an abundant, enjoyable and full life is a product of the choices one makes as they practice the art de vivre (the art of living).

So please feel free to comment, question and share :o)

Thank you for your time...it is your most valuable asset!

M